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So very burnt out, and I am only in my mid-30s......

Updated: 14 hours ago

Guess what? Received a "post Christmas present" of sorts in the form of an official HR memo that my contract will not be renewed. Surprised? Hardly. In fact, I was kinda expecting this to happen because my boss has been milking my ass off courtesy of imposing non-stop overtime (OT) work schedules for the past few months - an undisguised rush to wrap up as many outstanding projects in the shortest amount of time possible as opposed to opening fresh accounts for clients. Oh, and the entire department was rewarded with zilch bonus this year as my company decided to begin trimming the fat in the cost department complemented by periodic downsizing.

Thankfully, I wasn't all that dense and already had some inkling of the impending unfortunate predicament about to befall me, so I've been quietly sneaking off to attend a fair number of interviews and in the meanwhile managed to secure some job offers. Then again, truth be told, I am feeling extremely exhausted both mentally and physically after slogging for 5 years (and some) for my present company. Or as they say, burnt out. Mind you, I am only in my mid-30s.

My girlfriend dumped me years back, add to the fact I honestly did not have time to go for holidays since forever no thanks to work commitments, so basically my life now is defined by shuttling between office and home day in and out. A positive consequence however, is that I managed to save at least 70% of my monthly paycheck consistently. On occasion this can go up to 90%. Still I can ill afford a dwelling of my own, having to bunk in with my aged parents. So sorry Ma and Pa. To the genius PAP minister who claimed one can purchase a flat on a mere monthly wage of $1000, I say go suck my dick bitch.

These days I find it tremendously difficult to muster motivation and energy to soldier on in my current role; all I am really looking forward to is clearing my 2+ months of accumulated annual leave. The fact that my boss kept pestering me to stay behind and endure upcoming unpaid OT sessions while he simply took off (yet again) for a 1 month long holiday only worsens the personal tension between the two of us. For the record, I just had a big argument with him about this, deep inside my heart I was also begging him to relieve moi of the unspeakable agony by terminating my contact on the spot.

Yeah yeah yeah I know one's career is probably the most important consideration among other things when he is in his thirties. But right now, I just feel like shutting down altogether and go into hibernation for an entire year. Welcome to my pathetic life, and it probably will be yours too.

#OT #burnout #contract #motivation #salariedemployee

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