I have been married for more than 30 years, but my wife announced long ago that she didn’t want a sexual relationship and we haven’t made love for the past 15 years. Even before, sex was infrequent. I believe my wife has a deep-rooted loathing of her body – I haven’t seen her anything less than fully clothed for all these 15 years; she showers behind closed doors and sleeps separately (because of my snoring).

I had an affair 25 years ago and it was wonderful to feel loved and lusted after, but for the sake of the kids it stopped – I got on with my career and provided for my family. Now I am in my 60s and desperate. I just want to feel loved and have a tactile relationship. I know this sounds pathetic but I feel damaged by all of this – because I am desperately lonely and angry. I get angry when my wife talks to people about our marriage as it’s such a sham.

I don’t want to break up the family, but I don’t know what else to do.

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