Dear Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong,
In the years since you took helm at the very top, there is much left to be desired as far as the way you run our precious little red dot is concerned. Even more so in recent years as your incompetence and pettiness become glaringly obvious to the average citizen on the street. Shushing ordinary folks sniffing in your backyard with lawsuits, monumentally pissing off China time and again with your thoughtless political manoeuvres (pork soup from taps commentary, strategically foolish assertions on China's territoriality and seriously questionable management of the Terrex tanks episode among others, so sayonara OBOR); these alongside soaring living costs (thanks for the impending 30% hike in water prices by the way) and failing to rein in insensitive, hurtful remarks made by your ministers ( milk powder and sex in small spaces bull courtesy of one Josephine Teo for example), your leadership has been nothing but a grand heap of dung.
To be fair, it would probably take 56 man years to properly articulate your failures as prime minister in possibly no less than 38 volumes of encyclopedia text. But I am not here for that. I am writing because of that house at Oxley Road. Yes the house which apparently had your siblings so magnificently disgusted with your conduct they had to come out and denounce your allegedly abhorrent antics associated with tales of bullying and abuse of powers. Not to mention making your daddy and mummy turn in their graves. A seemingly small affair which escalated into a stain of stratospheric messiness without a clear end in sight. No thanks to you, Singapore has become the butt of jokes in the international community. We are being mocked left and right because our leader LITERALLY can't keep his house in order. From third world to first, then back to third once more some opined, and now I am finding it hard to disagree. Slowly but surely, we are turning into a country of ill repute. I am unwilling to even begin to fathom the sheer amount of hurt and ridicule we shall be consequently subjected to on various fronts by other countries who have come to think much less of us.
Let me get this straight; your mere course of remediation is to say sorry? And subsequently convene a session in parliament to clarify things? Really? You reckon lifting the party whip would suddenly empower your equally useless minions to speak out against you, that their delicate, super well-remunerated asses won't fear an eventual punishment of sorts stunting their career trajectories? If you were truly sincere in untangling the knots, you would have placed yourself open and square in the court of public opinion for rigorous questioning by us peasants. We ask, you answer. Answer to us, not your mindless, loyal subordinates. Plain and simple.
You apologized during GE 2011, even shedding tears and promising to do right by us. We were fools for believing you back then. And graduated to becoming greater idiots for being taken in by you once more during GE 2015. Fool us once, shame on you. Fool us twice, shame on us. Fool us thrice? There will be no third time, I can assure you.
A thousand apologies can't undo the irreparable damage caused to the reputation and viability of our beloved lion city. LKY was a tremendous blessing for Singapore, you sir on the other hand are a nincompoop of a tragedy.
Forgiveness is between you and your parents in heaven. It has nothing to do with us, we just wish to move on and are confident your relinquishing of the prime-ministership is a correct step in the path to properly rediscovering Majulah Singapura once more. What say you? Will you have the decency to step down on your own accord?
BLUE BLOODED SPECIMEN
(ALL SINGAPORE STUFF IS NOT ALLOWED TO REPRODUCE THIS POST OF MINE)