If limbu joins the PAP she promises not to rock the boat - she will just capsize it.

Seems like quite a few of the pappies are rather musically inclined - given their penchant for strumming the guitar, belting out classics and doing whatnot. Names like Lawrence Wong and Ong Ye Kung immediately come to mind; perhaps they could come together to form a boy band like One Direction, except theirs should be named No Direction.

To that inconsiderate grandpa watching JAV on his phone with the volume cranked way up, limbu has just texted Jesus beseeching him to bless your tiko ass with an epic heart attack before you alight from the bus. Happy sudden death ah gong!

Alamak, my handsome polis kor kor pengsan on the sidewalk! Someone call 995 right away!!!!!

Face it guys, YOU CAN NEVER WIN.

When limbu can run faster than an L-plate car, both driver and instructor ought to be slapped to wake up their fucking ideas.

Going to nap on this thing to chase away my serious Monday blues.....nobody fucking wake limbu up unless you want your eyes gouged out.

Limbu was browsing inside a 7-11 store when a flustered-looking couple entered, asking if pregnancy test kits were sold.

Fuck lah, one look at your husband's belly and I know for sure he is pregnant. There ain't no need to waste time nor money to test his ass.

Da queen is contemplating investing in fire extinguishers, but don't ask her fucking why coz she herself doesn't truly know. Then again perhaps they could be used to conveniently bash some sense into unmotivated subordinates - that sounds like oodles of fun.

20% CPF contribution anyone? :P

Nabei da queen nearly kenna knocked down by a GRAB delivery rider on a motorcycle just now!

The fuck you "admiring" the sky so intently instead of watching the road!!! Scared of birds swooping down to steal your customers' food huh????

All I want for Christmas is you. And you and you and you and you and you and you. Okay wrap them these 7 babies up and charge everything to my fuck buddy's credit card as per usual, thank you.

Meeting Lucifer for supper at his flat later, where I shall be privy to his thoughts surrounding the ongoing COP26, and how he plans to "take care" of that disgruntled midget called Greta Thunberg. ;)

I am giving serious thought.....to eating you.

AMK is fast becoming Yislum no.2, hence the requirement for such an institution. :P

Oi Cash Converters how much for this ah?

Sup my nigger? Whatcha doing lying headless on the sidewalk?

Had some fun with fucko here before kicking his arse aside. :)

Overheard gal in next cubicle at restaurant say to her friends: " I 肚子still胀, just now just drank a coconut down."

Drink coconut juice yes, but a whole damn fruit - husk, flesh and all? How the FUCK did she manage to plop one down her system at one go?

The Singapore Zoo roadshow coming soon to a HDB void deck near you?

This is an optical shop. Its name is Glance. At a glance, no one appears to be around. Two more glances, nope still no live human beings spotted. Open season much? In that case, feel free to glance around, and help yourself to whatever items you fancy - I guess it's Glance's implicit way of saying everything is on the house.

Looks like an M1 placard has fainted, someone go dial 995! Hang on a sec, let da queen go stomp it with her stilettos just to make sure......

Nabei, limbu was on her way to open a bank account for her pooh bear when she came across an illegally parked trolley - now she has to waste time alerting the traffic police.

Those orange sticks are meant to be eaten, not used for pleasuring the orifices. They are called carrots btw, you are most welcome.

When a pundek CECA-ian actually mistakes a digital kitchen scale for a self checkout kiosk at NTUC (not quite) FairPrice, you know he's definitely an alumni of Uptron University.

Bison: "You have made me a very happy man."

Colonel Guile: "And next, I'll make you a dead one."

God I love Street Fighter the movie!

Potential scammer alert!

Does this shop specialize in giving such awesome handjobs customers will definitely end up shooting out luxuriant cum? :P

Badgered incessantly by an ultra kaypoh gf regarding the queen's whereabouts, she confessed to browsing a toy store inside Peninsula Plaza. "Yeah right, then I am the fairy godmother and Hua Mulan has a 6 inch cock. Be more original will ya babe, Little Burma now has tenants selling toys?" quipped that bitch gf. OK HERE'S THE PROOF. KINDLY GET OFF MY FUCKING BACK.

Palace Confessions

Once upon a time there lived a prince who incurred the severe displeasure of da queen; she proceeded to turn him into a princess by lobbing off his weiner with a Ginsu world class knife. Naturally the newly minted princess didn't live happily ever after, rather "she" died shortly either of septic shock or in tremendous awe of the knife's pristine butchering capabilities.

A clean-cut and elegant solution to ending your relationship woes. :)

Yo Ng Chee Meng can you please get your house in order? How the fuck is limbu going to shop like that??????

Okay 'fess up, which one of you know where Nemo is? Oh wait all ya deader than dead my bad.

I seriously can't fucking eat with this creepy old granddad watching moi!!!!!!

Lelong lelong! Abba-Con-hee's divine DVD sampler going for only 2 bucks! Cheaper than a plate of chicken rice!

Conducted an interview over Zoom recently. When asked about his academic qualifications, the candidate stated: "I graduated with a major in business administration from the University of Vagina....." Da Queen laughed so hard she snorted some of the orange juice she was sipping, and choked incessantly for nearly 90 seconds. Oh wait, he said University of VIRGINIA. This work from home bullshit is surely fucking up my mental faculties big time; if it continues for a while longer I will probably have to recheck myself into IMH. On second thought, did the interview even happen?

An all along petty client of mine must have been stabbed by some shard of remorse, as she tried to extend an olive branch to moi via Zoom.

"Look, perhaps we got started off on the wrong foot....."

I snarled back without a moment's hesitation, channeling Julia Roberts in Erin Brockovich: "Two wrong feet and ugly fucking shoes - that's all you got woman!"

The bitch looked so taken aback I shit you not.

OT, can I use yogurt in place of shaving cream to trim my untamed pussy hair?

Da queen don't require too many bodyguards; someone like her would suffice.

Oh don't worry about da queen in the event of a complete lockdown, she has since accumulated stockpiles of condoms, birth control pills and disposable dildos. Ready anytime yo!

Did this auntie accidentally fall into a vat at Axis Chemicals earlier?

Not bad uncle, not bad at all.......

An empty bus is a healthy bus. Huat ar!!!!!!

Saw an ultra dinobu wearing a shirt with the words 'Break The Mold" printed on it.......

No worries your godzilla arse will definitely fracture/shatter/splinter/wreck every conceivable man-made container available on this planet, so please don't try squeezin' into any - fyi once broken considered sold.

Power lah this uncle, just plonk down right here and snore away without a fucking care in the world.

New fuck buddy was just too yummy, so while we were making out last night I ripped that $350 Hugo Boss shirt off him instead of going through the buttons one at a time.

After satisfying each other with one truly awesome fuck from bed to shower to kitchen, he had the audacity to request I compensate him with a new shirt of equal value.

Da queen was so pissed off she went into whore mode: "That would be $1200 for the sex romp. Now pay the fuck up or I will blind you with my stiletto heels."

Naturally he never brought up the shirt issue again. In fact, he just hinted about gifting a Cartier watch to appease moi heh.

Swung by the post office to settle some affairs, instead came face to face with this.

Eh buay song SingPost also no need to trash their place until like that right? In any case can I join in the fun?

Oh sorry limbu didn't know you are undergoing renovations. :P

PSA: Jesus and MAS have joined forces. We are so fucked.

I miss my ah ma.............so wise and amiable.